When both partners of a couple in love have wicked strong personalities and runaway stubborn streaks, they are called negative Instigator Couples in the Talk2Me© positive and effective communication system.
Stubborn ME + Stubborn YOU = We Both LOSE!
Extreme competitiveness is extremely toxic.
United you will stand, divided you will fall. Do you want to be right or do you want to be loved and happy?
ARE YOU STUBBORN?
Hard-Headed Problem: If prideful anger replaces the need to respectfully compromise, then your love is snuffed out.
HOW TO KEEP THE LOVE YOU’VE BEEN BLESSED TO FIND
Action attitudes to demonstrate self-control and respect for your partner when the heat is on:
❏ Reveal, don’t conceal insecurities.
❏ Share vulnerabilities openly ("I feel sad/scared or ___.") with a partner.
❏ Let go off arguing or needing to get your way and be right because being right is all wrong.
❏ Co-create and write out a mutually agreed upon mission to respect differences, not ever-ever-ever fight about them.
❏ Show respect to each other when differences arise by not cussing, shouting, withdrawing, giving a cold shoulder, threatening to leave, stomping off, drinking or drugging, driving off mad, criticizing-pouting-blaming-shaming, etc.
❏ Believe two equally strong-willed people can seek to understand one another while intensely disagreeing in a collaborative way.
❏ Ego Check: Grown-up lovers practice compromising rather than acting up like big babies throwing tantrums and smelly, dirty diapers back and forth.
❏ Wisely accept that not always getting what Y-O-U want can indeed be a very good thing!
❏ Handle anger better and not use a bad mood to manipulate an outcome or intimidate your way as in "It's got to be my way or hit the highway."
❏ Be as positive at home with loved ones as you are with coworkers, church mates, etc., who adore you because you're so nice, not like ice.
❏ Grow up and stop fighting from fear and insecurities about having to have your way to feel OK!
Your E-G-O needs to GO! Doesn’t it?
NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEYS
Get your nose out of other people’s business and stop being reactive versus responsive. Focus only on what and who you can change—yourself.
Because you can only control yourself, PLEASE stop hostilely criticizing your partner.
ACCEPTING AND COMPLIMENTING OR CRITICIZING?
Y-O-U don’t like to be shamed, scolded, blamed, blackmailed with guilt or scarred by thrown rocks of resentment in an anger war. Now, do you? The same goes for your talk partner.
Make sure today in every way that your strong-willed partner knows how much they are respected and loved by you in little and large ways.
Interested in Marriage Counseling in Dayton, Ohio?
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Copyright © 2017 by Dr. Dennis O’Grady (937-428-0724).
Distributed under license by New Insights Communication, LLC.
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