10 LOVE RULES
Few souls follow the Rules of Love when moody fears rule the home roost. Are you a safe and sane person to talk to during fear-driven tumultuous times? Love rules: Reject fear to accept love.
LOVE RULES—FEAR DROOLS
The 10 Rules of Successful Couple Communication that make connective bonds stronger:
1 - BREATHE. No one has to live up to your expectations but you. Correct?
2 - BE VULNERABLE. Choose to reveal your vulnerability and needs instead of defending the Ego castle with the hot oil of harsh words.
3 - ONLY TALK ABOUT ONE TOPIC AT A TIME. Ping, ping, pinging multiple topics overwhelms a couple.
4 - DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR UNIQUE TEAM OF TWO. Both of you are right. Develop your own ways and rules of viewing money, sex, religion, and co-parenting.
5 - NO FIXED FIGHTS. Seek unbiased expert help when you’re stuck in a pattern of loud fussing and finger-pointing which drains your Love Account.
6 - USE “I FEEL _____” OR “I NEED _____” ASSERTIVE STATEMENTS. This simple approach will guarantee that you receive more empathy and less rejection. Innovative solutions, too, will be generated.
7 - MAKE REGULAR DEPOSITS INTO YOUR LOVE ACCOUNT. Be grateful for the love connection you’ve got by demonstrating small acts of kindness when you hit a rough patch on the two-way communicator highway.
8 - BE A "PROBLEM PREVENTER" BY FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES. The ratio of your remarks ought to be nine positives (9+) to every one (-1) negative to break even.
9 - NO SPOILED PARTNER. The energy and work of being a caring couple needs to be about equal or the harder working partner will feel low, ignored and resentful.
10 - UNDERSTAND YOUR EMPATHIZER OR INSTIGATOR PARTNER'S MOODS. Relationship distress causes Empathizers to become depressed and self-critical, while relationship unhappiness causes Instigators to become angry and partner-accusatory.
Happiness springs forth from following basic rules that make lovers feel respected, emotionally protected, and each one of you empowered in trust.