What do you say to a ticked off partner who blames you for failing to make them happy? (You don’t beg, plead or rage for their sympathy.) Before speaking: Calm your own panicky fears of loss that cause you to talk back with a violent tongue.
COPING WITH COUPLE ABANDONMENT THREATS IN FIGHTS
Although your mood mastery is tested big time during hard emotional times, your mood is still fully under your mental control. Don’t strike back. Instead, decide in advance what mood attitude you will respond with when harsh words fly that hurt you. Calm? Caring? Wise? Compassionate? Curious? Understanding? Loving?
“My whole life has opened up now. My mood is no longer a train wreck waiting to happen. I don’t allow my partner to get me off track or trigger me to feel bad or mad. I don’t overreact to her angry moods and disapproving words. I’m no longer held hostage. My mood is finally fully under my own control, and I feel good.”
- Instigator male married to an Instigator female for 24 years
Copyright © 2018 by Dr. Dennis O’Grady (937-428-0724). Distributed under license by New Insights Communication, LLC.